The Waiting

I was not born with a gift for waiting.

Some say anticipation is half the fun.
But I never got that.

For me, the School of Waiting included mandatory classes like:
Chronic illness
International adoption
Marriage
Parenting
Being in the World but Not of It

And you know what?

Waiting is a skill you can get better at.
It turns out, patience, trust, faith are all muscles you can strengthen.

I don’t love it.
But I am thankful for the result.
My Faith is bigger.
My Peace is stronger.

Electives like: Piano Practice, Journaling, and Singing help the time go by.
Frequent Bible Study, and Bible-obsessed Friends are a big help.

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In fact, if you are suffering from some divinely-sent waiting, I strongly prescribe Bible study for an early and effective treatment. Google “bible gateway” and an emotion you are struggling with… say “peace” or “fear.” Read all the verses. Let one verse lead you to another. Get a friend who will remind you of this prescription.

You are not alone.
I am not alone.

I am well-loved, even in the waiting.
Or, I am well-loved, therefore I wait.

Back in the Kitchen (Back on the blog!) **TORTILLAS**

It feels like I barely cooked for 18 months! I know my family ate. (I know we bought a lot of precooked chickens last winter. And healthy pre-made food is expensive!) While healing from chronic Lyme, and MCAS and various other new diagnoses, cooking took a back seat. (So did blogging). Of course, healthy eating is so key to healing, but it was a struggle to keep up with life spend the amount of time I used to spend on creating healthy homemade food.

A recent diagnosis of having severely low DHEA (pre-hormone from your adrenals that allows the production of cortisol, and other hormones) made me feel better, just know it was possible to measure in a lab how exhausted my body always is! (The over-achiever in me feels better anyway).

I have started a new supplement specially compounded for me that my body seems to be accepting! So with renewed hope in more energy coming, and finding a cookbook to help me with inflammation-reducing recipes for my healing body, I venture into the kitchen to create a tortilla using non-grain flours. (Grains are going to be off the menu for quite some time for me).

I was inspired when I found the Lectin Free Mama blog, and her cassava tortilla recipe. Of course due to our MCAS and multiple food allergies, I can never seem to just find a recipe that works for us. Cassava is a common cross-reaction protein for people with celiac, and it feels almost like eating gluten to us. I also have a daughter with a major dairy sensitivity. So I looked to tigernut flour, and palm shortening, looking at how some other bloggers combine flours with tigernut to get the right consistency, and VOILA! I am so glad I did not give up and decided to go for it!

I am SUPER excited about how these tortillas came out! I believe they are Plant Paradox friendly (I am new to that food list).

SPRING’S TORTILLAS

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 c. shortening (softened but not liquid)

1 1/2 c. tigernut flour

1 c. arrowroot flour

1 c. warm water

2-3 tbs coconut flour until right texture achieved

I mixed the first two flours and the shortening in my kitchen-aid until crumbly. And then added the warm water. I then stirred in coconut flour one tablespoon at a time until the flour no longer stuck to the bowl. The texture to touch was fluffy and not sticky.

I weight 2 oz-ish on my scale so they would be similar in size, and pressed them in my electric tortilla maker. I experimented with times between 1 minute and two, and somewhere in the middle was my favorite. (Cooking both sides at once, it does not take as long as in a skillet).

Recipe makes 8 tortillas at this size. (I also experimented with how flat I wanted to press them for different thickness, hence the bigger thin one at the bottom of this plate!)

When I was done, I called my daughters down to help me test them out! We heated one up in wet paper towels in the microwave for 25-30 seconds, and then put a piece of leftover turkey and some lettuce in it to see how well it “wrapped.”

Success! The flavor is so subtle, we could really taste the fresh turkey, and there was no weird after taste (sometimes grain-free taste like love-at-first-bite-and-no-thanks-at-last-bite according to my girls 😉 )

Happy-Healthy-Eating!

Spring

SPRING’S TORTILLAS

Ingredients

  • 1/2 cup shortening (softened but not liquid)
  • 1 1/2 cup tigernut flour
  • 1 cup arrowroot flour
  • 1 cup warm water
  • 2-3 tbsp coconut flour until right mixture achieved

Instructions

  • I mixed the first two flours and the shortening in my kitchen-aid until crumbly. And then added the warm water. I then stirred in coconut flour one tablespoon at a time until the flour no longer stuck to the bowl. The texture to touch was fluffy and not sticky.
  • I weight 2 oz-ish on my scale so they would be similar in size, and pressed them in my electric tortilla maker. I experimented with times between 1 minute and two, and somewhere in the middle was my favorite. (Cooking both sides at once, it does not take as long as in a skillet).
  • Recipe makes 8 tortillas at this size. (I also experimented with how flat I wanted to press them for different thickness, hence the bigger thin one at the bottom of this plate!)
  • When I was done, I called my daughters down to help me test them out! We heated one up in wet paper towels in the microwave for 25-30 seconds, and then put a piece of leftover turkey and some lettuce in it to see how well it “wrapped.”
  • Success! The flavor is so subtle, we could really taste the fresh turkey, and there was no weird after taste (sometimes grain-free taste like love-at-first-bite-and-no-thanks-at-last-bite according to my girls

Room to Breathe

This month, I started a new Facebook community for people who love to learn, love to cheer for others, who like or need accountability,  while on their own wellness journey. It’s called The WHOLE You with Spring.

For the month of January, my personal health focus (and the focus of a five-day challenge in the Facebook group) is BREATHING. No weightloss. No major character-transformations. Simply working deliberately on my breathing.

I have shared in the group a little of what I learned about breathing last year, that I am now taking time to put into personal practice.

We could get all philosophical (and easily negative) about a society that has to deliberately choose to return to practicing breathing. But I choose to see it as learning to adapt to modern changes, while also mining for the treasure of previous wisdom that gets buried in the shuffle of our modern pace. And learning how to take the best of the “now,” while not letting it drown out other important things. (Oops. See? Philosophical!)

The merging of traditional wisdom about our bodies and modern science has shown us some amazing things! My cardiologist introduced me to the biofeedback app called HeartMath, and I am using it daily in my breathing exercise this month. (Twice daily, actually!)

I have found the app fascinating in experimenting with essential oils, which ones help me maintain coherence (more on that in a soon-to-publish post), which ones help me focus etc.

I know that ultimately, with the scent-association, I will be able help trigger relaxation/coherence without using the app! Yeah, I’m geeking out a little bit with all the science this month too.

If you’d like to follow along in the Facebook group, you can request to join here!

Have you ever deliberately practiced breathing? I’d love to hear about it!

 

Romans 1-12 (in a tiny nutshell)

Sometimes words start coursing through my brain, pleading to be released. As I sat down to chapter 12 of my Romans bible study, this “summary according to Spring’s brain” started writing itself. In order to be left alone, I am typing it here. 🙂

ROMANS 1-12 Spring’s Brain’s Summary Version

You are a mess.
Stop pointing to other people’s messes and ignoring your own. That’s an even worse mess.
You do not get to decide what is a mess and what isn’t. God does.
You cannot stop being a mess on your own.
There is hope for your mess in Jesus.
As Jesus cleans up your mess, don’t judge people who are still in their mess, the ones who didn’t find Jesus yet. It’s not because YOU are awesome; it’s because HE is.
Jesus has made you a part of something bigger, something God has been doing since the beginning.
When you realize all that Jesus has done for you, what will be your response?
Live differently. Love differently. Do good.
Let God handle the rest.

Not what you expected?

Have you ever wondered, if you were an Israelite at the time of Christ’s coming, if you would have “missed it?” I have. I wonder if I would have missed the fact that the Messiah I had been taught to hope and wait for had come, because he had come in a way I was not expecting. I have surely made assumptions about what God’s goodness, and “good gifts” look like in the past!

I am studying the book of Romans with a group of friends via FB-group, and today’s reading was chapter 10. Paul is writing about the fact that many Israelites rejected Jesus as the Messiah. And I as pondered it, I wondered how likely I would have been to make the same mistake. They were actually taught to expect a certain outcome from his arrival. They  had misinterpreted what the promised deliverance was from. They assumed it was from Roman rule. But it was in reality deliverance from themselves.

And then I wondered, how likely is it that the way I talk about God to others, to friends, to my kids, gives people a false picture of what to expect from God?The only truly safe point of view is to simply remind ourselves and others of what scripture says.

 

 

 

 

God is in the Bathroom

As I was working on my Bible study homework today, I suddenly remembered the days when the only place I read my Bible was in the bathroom.

Now I enjoy a cup of coffee , propped up in my comfy bed. But back when I had 2 and 3 small kids, I often felt guilty for how my spiritual discipline seemed to have gone to the wayside. (The Bible apps we have now would have been amazing back then! A quick screen shot even lets me share a passage I’m reading with a friend or on social media. I love the Bible Gateway app!)

Then one day, when chatting about this with a mom further along on the motherhood path about this guilt,  she quoted a verse to me:

Isaiah 40:11 New International Version (NIV)

11 He tends his flock like a shepherd:
    He gathers the lambs in his arms
          and carries them close to his heart;
    he gently leads those that have young.

So you know what I did back then?

I started leaving a Bible in the bathroom. Perhaps not a very holy place to set it, but it meant I read it a lot more often! If God looked gently on those with littles, I was going to be a little more gentle with  myself. And you know what I found?

God could speak to me, even in the bathroom.

So today, I wanted to say especially to young moms, but really to anyone: if your spiritual practice is not what you wish it was, find moments to read the Bible, to pray. Grab an app to make it easier.  Find any moments. Short moments.

God is in those too.  ~xo

Hard

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how we don’t always know if something is good or bad when it happens. But you know what we DO know?

We know when something is HARD. 

Like you, I’ve walked through some hard things. And without trying to label them as bad, or “good in the end,” here is what I’ve been reminding myself about the Hard Things.

Hard isn’t evil. (Although evil is hard.)

Hard doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

Hard doesn’t mean God is angry with you, or displeased with you.

Sometimes Hard is transition. Sometimes Hard is birthing something new.

Sometimes Hard is about conquering yourself.

Sometimes Hard is about trusting God.

Sometimes Hard is just about letting yourself feel how hard it is.

And, HARD doesn’t mean “it’s over.” It’s just right now.

When it’s Hard, I try to:

feel my feelings, eat some greens, maybe followed by chocolate, go for a walk, take a nap, laugh with my kids, clean something, take a long bath, roll on the peace and console oil, meditate, read scripture, journal, pray, talk to a good friend…

How do YOU get through the hard?

(No pics in this post… “Hard” is so very individual and personal. Don’t compare what feels hard to you, to what feels hard to someone else. Hard just is.                  xo -Spring)

Anne Frank (Can I be honest?)

There have been a lot of articles going around the last couple weeks with headlines something like “Anne Frank may not have been betrayed.”The idea being that the people who knew where they were hiding may NOT have sold them out.

Well, EXCUSE ME!?!?!?

Anne Frank’s family was killed in the holocaust. She was betrayed by her government, her country, her fellow countrymen. It doesn’t matter if someone ratted them out in the end, or they were found on accident. The family, and more than a MILLION other Jews were killed in that holocaust.

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So please, can we stop all the headlines about them “not being betrayed.” My heart just aches at that language. They WERE betrayed. And unto death. Surely they can find a better way to say there may be new info about how the Frank family was found. I fear for how little the knowledge of the holocaust is spoken of, taught, how easily it is forgotten.

May we never forget.

 

What if… {Choosing}

I was recently working with a coach for my business/personal development, and one exercise he gave us was to notice what we choose. The exercise was a powerful reminder:

We have way more power than we  ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶d̶o̶  admit.

Immediately, as I got ready to say “I have to run” at the end of that meeting, I realized “I’m choosing to go now… because I want to keep my promise to be somewhere else at a certain time.” So I changed my language: I’m going to go now. And it felt weird, and good at the same time.

What if we took ownership of our choices? How many times a day do we claim to “have to” but really choose to do something?

As the coach mentioned, even taking care of our kids is TECHNICALLY optional. All choices have consequences, but we do, in fact, CHOOSE. And it’s sort of a freeing feeling to  ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶  realize, I have more power over my time, and my day than I ̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ ̶I̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶  admit.

I keep striking through “thought”, and changing it to admit, because I think that believing we have no power over much of our time, frees us from responsibility for the way we spend our time. I want to remind myself, that even believing we have no choice, is a choice.

I don’t really want to admit I chose to burn myself out. Who does?!

But the reality is, in an attempt to feel valuable, important, meet others’ needs (“later” always seemed soon enough for my own), make people happy, or even get people to like me, I chose it.

I have mentioned StrengthsFinder before.  In my top 11 strengths,  10 of them feel sort of forward moving to me, they have a drive to them. I kept seeing this image in my head, and finally had to make a graphic for it.

I may be wired this way, but I still get to choose. And being aware that I am, in fact, choosing, creates a pause if I choose to take it, and consider why am I making this choice.

What if, even for one day, we all acknowledged the myriad choices we make. We choose to oversleep, to be late, to eat the crappy food instead of the healthy food (probably due to choosing not to plan/prep for the right food), we choose to take time to pray and meditate, or we choose to rush off into the day choosing to believe we don’t have time. We choose to worry instead. We choose to be tired, by staying up too late, and leaning on things like caffeine.

Wait a minute… I choose to be tired?! Yup. Sometimes, I do.

There are things I don’t  have control over. Health issues, life stressors.  We can’t control the choices others make.

But there are so many more things I DO have control over. Especially all those things pertaining to Spring, and how she responds to those out-of-control things, and what she does with the time that has been given to her.